Thinking about Drive and Flow

This Christmas my uncle was stuck for something to get me, but he remembered I loved anime so he visited a comic shop in the hope of finding something suitably japanified. But oh ho was he surprised to find all manga in the store gone. Sold. Every last Bleach, One Piece and Naruto, Death Note, Fist of the North Star, just evaporated into the stockings of thousands of manga lovers everywhere. He asks the till guy if there's anything left to salvage? Not even one manga left. A pause. He was handed this:

Bakuman - two lads follow their dreams to become mangaka (manga artists). No homo, surprisingly!

Meet Saiko and Shuujin, the middle school students determined to make it into Shonen Jack (a parody of the biggest name in manga magazines, Shonen Jump) as the greatest mangaka ever. Their goal is often intertwined with other emotional heart tugs (Saiko promises to marry his childhood sweetheart only when they both achieve their dreams) and the comedy is effectively sourced from these devices. 

Okay, so he bought me the 15th in the series and I'd never even heard of it before. I had to laugh, especially because it's not the first time it's happened. (I've got precisely volumes 1-4, 37, 38 of Ranma 1/2, thanks Mam!) But what a lucky choice it turned out to be.

My creative mojo had been all but drained over the period before holidays, working solidly on Forgotten Futures and getting stressed about my financial situation. But here comes Bakuman delivering a jolt of inspiration in swift, touching, even frank instalments about the nature of mastering one's craft. I could expect nothing less from the guys who created Death Note. They could do this without me even having to read all 14 earlier tomes. Just a few black and white pages infused me with the same red-hearted drive of these newcomers going for the big time.

What struck me full-force was a particular scene in which Saiko goes to a middle-school class reunion; with his serialisation in Shonen Jack everybody flocks around him in awe at his critical rise to fame. Of course Saiko has never seen any of his journey in the context of fame. His coy and modest replies quickly dispel the hype generated by his classmates. It's always been like that for him, apart from the crowd as he pursues the uncatchable. Yet success comes to him through hard work, and he accepts that his passion makes him truly happy at the expense of other happinesses that he could possess. I feel it all the time. It's an articulation of artistic struggle, and is one I'm glad to be able to draw from.

He's even got the chin!

Traipsing back through the memories of my teen years (to a similar age to Saiko and Shuujin - btw do I look like this Shuujin guy or what??) I was I'm aware of the breadcrumb trail of short-term goals, those that got lost between the floorboards once I'd either satisfied myself with the arrangement of things in general, or had given up. Granted some of these pieces aren't even worth inspecting, barely worth the time reflecting upon. But one I think should be examined was the huge energy I put into roleplaying forums during high school where I began constructing more than just fantasy worlds and intricate gaming mechanics.

The social interplay between other writers of magical sagas provided the perfect incubation for me to stretch my own writing and story construction in ways that went against the grain. I was learning how to be passionate, diligent, and punctual with my verse and prose. I had a target to become an Advanced Roleplayer, a title bestowed upon the committed roleplayers with a tonne of text under their belt and a community. Ultimately the medal of recognition was decided by a few inhabitants aloft in their ivory-tower. It didn't have value to anyone outside this tiny circle of keyboard jockeys. Still, when I got the title it was the most exciting thing to have happened to me in months! Off the back of the ARPer status came a few really good pieces of writing that I'm still very proud of to this day.

As the NFTS course fast approaches, can I hope to find that same feeling of flow and drive with games design? What Bakuman and RPing has taught me is that it's all about focus. Never see the things pushing you towards dream (and away from distractions) as sacrifices. Dealing with the turbulence when you can't avoid changing course in the wake of that force, that's pretty important too.

The Year of the Horse!!

All the faces shall be eaten with glee!

Happy New Year!! Wait, wow this place is sparser than my football knowledge and common sense combined, there's hardly any substantial bodies here to direct my yuletide cordialities! Something must be done.

This calls for a New Year's resolution. From this moment hence I will be keeping this blog up and running, spick and span, with all the brass grubnuts and dolphin pipertublets polished weekly to an immaculate sheen. This machine is going to run like a dream! This is how it should have begun in the first place.

Spurring this action is not only the need to document my zany ideas and schemes, but also to keep any interested peeps abreast of my activities. The next change in my life will happen in just over 3 weeks time. I will be starting a second Masters degree on Jan 27th, but this time slightly removed from the realms of Physics. Instead I'm taking a large leap towards the games industry by enrolling on the National Film and Television School's course in Games Design and Development.

I'm still amazed that I've journeyed so far from my original goal of living in Japan. Remembering my absent minded approach to it all - never really making the effort to learn Japanese, dodging the JET program applications etc - makes me realise I was submerging myself in a glass bowl that I couldn't see or define. Being a goldfish is fine if you're okay with that lifestyle. But it was depleting me, causing me to fade in and out of poor decisions, watery words and aimless wandering.

Without wanting to drag out the dramatics too much longer, I have to admit that the NFTS course may well be a personal miracle for me. As soon as I found out about the narrative-focused, cinematographic influenced degree I couldn't help but feel a tug at those long suppressed creative cords wrapped up within me. Something felt right, even if the financial situation didn't. I'd just lost a job after moving to Leeds and was feeling broken and bewildered. I was back to barwork and being completely misplaced. However two magnificent creatures emerged from the wilds. One was the NFTS course, an elusive beast that sent me hunting far and wide for the necessary skills to capture it. Suddenly confronted with tools like ZBrush, Unity3D, Blender, C#, and a myriad of other essentials the going got tough fast. Still I managed to reel in an interview with the school after submitting a hastily constructed portfolio. Getting accepted on the course couldn't have made me happier!
The other animal was a job with Sony Computer Entertainment Europe back in good old Liverpool. I've been riding this one for the last 7 months now, and that will soon come to an end when I move to Beaconsfield in Buckinghamshire.

I was given an incredible window of opportunity to fly headfirst into the career I'd only ever dreamt of - that of a games designer. I'm so grateful for the nudges, encouragement and support along the way. How impossible it would be to do anything like this alone.

From here, I shall be posting about my time at the school. I'll also be discussing my other projects, one of which is an augmented reality app game called Forgotten Futures. With just four months to go before it kicks off at the Threshold Festival of Music and Arts, I'll be attempting to document the monumental changes I undergo as I try balancing a new university course with running a Kickstarter and delivering an app game to the general public! Also stay tuned for some tips and advice on applying for the course and for funding, and know that you are not alone in struggling to reach those lofty goals.

2014 looks set to be made of something special!

~Peace